In many ways, I feel my primary and secondary school education was sheltered as far as content goes. I learned a lot about the merits of an American democracy, and very little about alternative governing styles. I had one geography class and one world history class throughout all my 12 years of institutional learning, the former when I was 13 and the latter when I was 17. I didn't even learn very much about modern American cities or the cultures within them, only the main industries of each region in the 19th century.
Granted, this perspective changes from person to person, from school district to school district. It's just, I distinctly remember my freshman year in college being extremely eye-opening. I only moved 300 miles east (approximately 500 kilometers) to Philadelphia, and yet it was a whole other world for me.
Three main factors that caused this shift:
1. I knew maybe two or three kids that lived there. They had graduated from my high school before me, and we had hung out a few times with mutual friends. However, they lived in a different neighborhood, 30 minutes away by bike. And they didn't go to my university, or any university for that matter. So, essentially, I was going to a school attended by more than 30,000 people I didn't know. I was kind of obligated to meet new people.
2. I really didn't know Pittsburgh that well, the closest city during my childhood. More about this here. And let's just say that my hometown's population is smaller than that of Temple's main campus. City congestion alone was enough to make my head spin.
3. I was finally on the east coast. I was among those from Boston, New York, and Washington. I was in a city that had ethnic neighborhoods! This diversity permeated my university classes as well: fellow students that had learned English as a second language, professors from all over the globe, and class discussions about poverty, globalization, and gender discrimination.
I quickly realized how closeted my education had been. I remembered fighting for the right to publish an article about teachers' lives outside of class in our school newspaper. And now, in college, I could write a column about vodka tampons.
Just as quickly, I accustomed myself to this kind of learning. And I let my learning leave the classroom, to infiltrate my life in bookstores, bike shops, Vagina Monologues rehearsals, and my kitchen. I had always had a lust for learning, but it was able to flourish in an urban and conflicted environment that was both progressive and archaic at the same time.
In short, I don't see this in my young English students here. Perhaps it truly is just a difference in personality or interests. I enjoy language, discussion, and revelation, while they enjoy Tuenti, soccer, and going to the pool.
Throughout this past month, in the many moments I wanted to roll my eyes and throw up my hands at one of my apathetic pupils, I tried to put myself in her shoes. I remember when my peers were so important to me. I remember texting under the desk during class, and dissing the teacher during lunch. Yet, I was still very studious. I always respected the teacher, at least to her face, and I took her criticism or discipline very seriously. So, sometimes, my students' shoes just didn't fit.
I also saw some of this indifference in my students' parents, and even in other teachers. I'll admit that I'm generally uninterested in whether my students want to learn English or not. I don't expect any passion. I just expect willingness to accept the nature of their education system. You do work, you get grades, and good grades allow you to pursue most any career you want. When I was younger, I did not find history or mathematics to be particularly riveting; but I was highly motivated by good grades. I tried hard despite my disinterest.
I keep coming back to that idea, though: the nature of their education system. When I reflect on what's expected of these kids, part of me wants to blame the class format and the pressure put on exams rather than their apathy toward learning.
For example, I taught a couple classes, to children between 12 and 16 years old, everyday in August. We spent five weeks together, working through a summer review textbook to prepare for an exam they all had in late August or early September. These children had all failed their English exams in May, and were forced to repeat, and pass, the exam or otherwise repeat the course. During class, these children were totally motivated by either the end of class, or the opportunity to talk to another classmate. When assigned work, they worked through it as quickly as possible, often without reading instructions or listening to directions. Afterward, I would correct their mistakes, and they would shake their heads up and down saying they understood, but all the while glancing at their peers and surely ignoring everything I said. At home, to study, they memorized correct answers and even essays. At first, I tried to show them revision and problem-solving methods. Then I realized they didn't care. They just wanted the right answers, so they could pass the exam, and move on. This is all they expect, and this is all that their parents and teachers expect.
Friends and Elliot have told me this extends to university courses. Professors may even deter questions as they "slow down" the class. Students are expected to attend class, listen to lectures, and study, only to be assessed at the end of the semester with a cumulative exam. This exam is all that matters. Afterward, you can forget everything. Empty your brain for the next cramming session.
The nature of the Spanish education system does not seem to facilitate critical analysis or peer-to-peer discussion. Students are encouraged to listen and absorb as much as possible. Whatever is left to learn can be obtained through memorization.
While my education lacked in content (many Spanish teens are learning two or more languages and taking multiple world history classes), I don't think it lacked in methodology. I graduated high school completely capable of writing analytic and persuasive papers, implementing constructive criticism, and managing my time (of course, you can't always ask this of a 12-year-old, but that's what parents are for).
Even after all this experience and reflection, and even some supportive statistics, I still can't help but think that these differences are not cultural or systemic, but rather individually influenced. I remember classmates who refused to follow teachers' advice, who seemed to coast through high school. I suppose one truth that I've found is that, despite individual personality or ambition, the Spanish education system has hardly facilitated my position as a teacher.
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Semi-annual conclusions on teaching English in Pamplona
I've passed the 6-month milestone in teaching this month. And I'd like to offer some thoughts to those interested, as I had some trouble researching the issue before coming here.
1. It was easy to find work. Granted, this may not go for everywhere in Spain, and definitely not everywhere in the world. When we arrived, we hung up 40 fliers on phone booths, bus stops, telephone poles, etc. We also posted a couple announcements on Craiglist-type websites. And that was it. Within a week, we had a few bites. Within a month, we almost had a complete schedule. Since then, we've been rejecting students because we're up to our ears in requests. Although it is common here to study English in school, the language is not widely spoken in Pamplona. That's mostly due to the fact that English teachers are often from Spain. Our students need to master English for their professions or a university entry exam, and this necessitates a native English speaker. Furthermore, people dig the American accent. Some want to travel (or already do travel) to the states, and they want to fit in as much as possible. In short, we came to Pamplona with a resource that (unbeknownst to us) was in really high demand.
2. Students are notoriously flaky. As I mentioned before, this statement implicates students from Pamplona only. Not only do they cancel and reschedule classes on the fly, but some of them can also be very conflicted about whether they even want classes or not. I understand, because it can be difficult to demand someone to demand something of you. I mean, who asks for homework assignments? But it's easy to get frustrated because you often need their money to live a decent life. Of course, when students have dropped my classes in the past, it hasn't been a big deal (see #1). Sometimes, though, I attend a class hoping for a 10-spot that I can use to buy some bread and cheese the next morning. So when my student says "Oh sorry, I can't come to class today" or "Oh sorry, I don't have money today" it can be like a little pinch on your arm. You get over it fairly quickly, but at the time it's a bummer.
3. On that note, it serves to mention money. For the most part, my students have been pretty easy-going about money. They don't argue about price. They offer to pay me when I want to be paid. Sometimes they even tip! It took a while to learn this, but the best thing to do at the beginning is establish a clear payment method. Explain how much you want to be paid, why you're charging that much, and also why you prefer to be paid weekly, monthly, whatever. Students will understand. They might end up changing the class time every week, but they will understand.
4. Not every student is a linguistics nerd. Even though I find studying language (as well as its components and acquisition) very interesting, my students might not. So when I start throwing words around like phrasal verb, deductive modal, or intonation, it doesn't really motivate the student at all. In fact, it just confuses them sometimes. You can't expect them to understand why sentences are structured a certain way. All you can really ask is that they structure them the right way. Some students aren't interested in grammar at all. They just want to feel comfortable talking. So if you're considering being an English teacher for the thrill of discussing linguistic nuances with your students, dream on.
5. Working in an educational institution can be way worse than individual classes, or way better. In my case, it's better. The school is really small, and the classes are often individuals or small groups of people. In addition to English, they offer tutoring in other topics like math, German, and Spanish. The director of the school is really great, and always around. What I really appreciate is that she handles the shitty aspects of teaching (i.e. finding students, charging students, printing/copying worksheets). Plus, these students are paying a tad bit more than I would charge, so it feels like they truly are enthusiastic about learning. Of course, working in a school can be terrible, from what I've heard. Some schools don't pay their teachers very well, they don't offer them any resources to use in their classes, and their students are often young and bored. And some teachers would prefer individual classes, because it offers more flexibility. Most of the teachers I've met in Pamplona are also university students who don't have 20 plus hours to devote to an institutional teaching position.
6. Young students can be great if their parents don't hold you to very high standards. Don't get me wrong, I love being held to high standards. However, there's only so much I can do with one or two hours per week. I realized that some parents only expect you to supplement their children's English teachings, but a few expect you to advance or even replace their children's teachings. The latter is nearly impossible if the child doesn't care to learn or study, which is a common problem. I could give a shit whether they like my classes or not, but when the parents crack down on you for their children's poor grades...no fun. Otherwise, I really enjoy working with kids. Some of them are better than the adults.
7. Lesson-planning is a legit skill. If you can't do it, you might want to reconsider this professional decision. There are the some students that just want to practice speaking in English. They don't expect worksheets, exercises, or activities. You just show up with a topic and discuss it for an hour or so. Most students, though, especially those at a lower level, expect structured classes. This obligates the teacher to not only have materials prepared, but also to arrange their order of presentation. For example, you start with a brief review of vocabulary or easy conversation to get the student warmed up. Follow that with some new concepts related to grammar, pronunciation, spelling, etc. Finally, you want to make sure the student can apply the new information practically so you prompt them to speak or write. It would be stupid to ask the student to write about something they haven't learned yet, or to interrupt the study and application phases of the lesson with an irrelevant game (unless the student is 5 years old with a short attention span).
8. It's okay to not be the world's best English teacher. I've found that while I may be a decent teacher, I don't enjoy it. So sometimes I find myself not trying too hard to think of interesting topics for my students. Shame on me, I know. I'm trying to make a point, though, by admitting that yes, teaching English is just another job to me. But I will do well in any work situation, because I want to please people. I think there is a weird pressure that falls on teachers to be exceptionally passionate about what they do. I don't think that's essential. Sure, you appreciate a great teacher, but why are they any different than anybody else? They still have bad days, when they hate everyone, even your kids. I'm not passionate about teaching English, but I'm good at it. My students aren't inspired, but they're satisfied.
Like I said, I wish that someone like present-me was there seven months ago to tell past-me these things about teaching English. Thus, I'm open to any inquiries from those who are in the same confused/curious/anxious state.
1. It was easy to find work. Granted, this may not go for everywhere in Spain, and definitely not everywhere in the world. When we arrived, we hung up 40 fliers on phone booths, bus stops, telephone poles, etc. We also posted a couple announcements on Craiglist-type websites. And that was it. Within a week, we had a few bites. Within a month, we almost had a complete schedule. Since then, we've been rejecting students because we're up to our ears in requests. Although it is common here to study English in school, the language is not widely spoken in Pamplona. That's mostly due to the fact that English teachers are often from Spain. Our students need to master English for their professions or a university entry exam, and this necessitates a native English speaker. Furthermore, people dig the American accent. Some want to travel (or already do travel) to the states, and they want to fit in as much as possible. In short, we came to Pamplona with a resource that (unbeknownst to us) was in really high demand.
2. Students are notoriously flaky. As I mentioned before, this statement implicates students from Pamplona only. Not only do they cancel and reschedule classes on the fly, but some of them can also be very conflicted about whether they even want classes or not. I understand, because it can be difficult to demand someone to demand something of you. I mean, who asks for homework assignments? But it's easy to get frustrated because you often need their money to live a decent life. Of course, when students have dropped my classes in the past, it hasn't been a big deal (see #1). Sometimes, though, I attend a class hoping for a 10-spot that I can use to buy some bread and cheese the next morning. So when my student says "Oh sorry, I can't come to class today" or "Oh sorry, I don't have money today" it can be like a little pinch on your arm. You get over it fairly quickly, but at the time it's a bummer.
3. On that note, it serves to mention money. For the most part, my students have been pretty easy-going about money. They don't argue about price. They offer to pay me when I want to be paid. Sometimes they even tip! It took a while to learn this, but the best thing to do at the beginning is establish a clear payment method. Explain how much you want to be paid, why you're charging that much, and also why you prefer to be paid weekly, monthly, whatever. Students will understand. They might end up changing the class time every week, but they will understand.
4. Not every student is a linguistics nerd. Even though I find studying language (as well as its components and acquisition) very interesting, my students might not. So when I start throwing words around like phrasal verb, deductive modal, or intonation, it doesn't really motivate the student at all. In fact, it just confuses them sometimes. You can't expect them to understand why sentences are structured a certain way. All you can really ask is that they structure them the right way. Some students aren't interested in grammar at all. They just want to feel comfortable talking. So if you're considering being an English teacher for the thrill of discussing linguistic nuances with your students, dream on.
5. Working in an educational institution can be way worse than individual classes, or way better. In my case, it's better. The school is really small, and the classes are often individuals or small groups of people. In addition to English, they offer tutoring in other topics like math, German, and Spanish. The director of the school is really great, and always around. What I really appreciate is that she handles the shitty aspects of teaching (i.e. finding students, charging students, printing/copying worksheets). Plus, these students are paying a tad bit more than I would charge, so it feels like they truly are enthusiastic about learning. Of course, working in a school can be terrible, from what I've heard. Some schools don't pay their teachers very well, they don't offer them any resources to use in their classes, and their students are often young and bored. And some teachers would prefer individual classes, because it offers more flexibility. Most of the teachers I've met in Pamplona are also university students who don't have 20 plus hours to devote to an institutional teaching position.
6. Young students can be great if their parents don't hold you to very high standards. Don't get me wrong, I love being held to high standards. However, there's only so much I can do with one or two hours per week. I realized that some parents only expect you to supplement their children's English teachings, but a few expect you to advance or even replace their children's teachings. The latter is nearly impossible if the child doesn't care to learn or study, which is a common problem. I could give a shit whether they like my classes or not, but when the parents crack down on you for their children's poor grades...no fun. Otherwise, I really enjoy working with kids. Some of them are better than the adults.
7. Lesson-planning is a legit skill. If you can't do it, you might want to reconsider this professional decision. There are the some students that just want to practice speaking in English. They don't expect worksheets, exercises, or activities. You just show up with a topic and discuss it for an hour or so. Most students, though, especially those at a lower level, expect structured classes. This obligates the teacher to not only have materials prepared, but also to arrange their order of presentation. For example, you start with a brief review of vocabulary or easy conversation to get the student warmed up. Follow that with some new concepts related to grammar, pronunciation, spelling, etc. Finally, you want to make sure the student can apply the new information practically so you prompt them to speak or write. It would be stupid to ask the student to write about something they haven't learned yet, or to interrupt the study and application phases of the lesson with an irrelevant game (unless the student is 5 years old with a short attention span).
8. It's okay to not be the world's best English teacher. I've found that while I may be a decent teacher, I don't enjoy it. So sometimes I find myself not trying too hard to think of interesting topics for my students. Shame on me, I know. I'm trying to make a point, though, by admitting that yes, teaching English is just another job to me. But I will do well in any work situation, because I want to please people. I think there is a weird pressure that falls on teachers to be exceptionally passionate about what they do. I don't think that's essential. Sure, you appreciate a great teacher, but why are they any different than anybody else? They still have bad days, when they hate everyone, even your kids. I'm not passionate about teaching English, but I'm good at it. My students aren't inspired, but they're satisfied.
Like I said, I wish that someone like present-me was there seven months ago to tell past-me these things about teaching English. Thus, I'm open to any inquiries from those who are in the same confused/curious/anxious state.
 |
| This is your English teacher, using her native language to build lego towers. |
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
When bilingualism becomes no-lingualism
"Dude, are you smoked?"
In English, I was trying to ask if he was high -- you know if he was puffin' the herb -- and it came out different. Probably because in Spanish I would ask, "¿Tio, estás fumado?" which literally means smoked. I guess it sounds cool in English regardless, but the point is: I fucked up in my native language.
Don't be fooled. That ain't the first nor the last time that has happened. I say stupid stuff in my native language all the time now. I'd like to tell you that's because I'm excelling in my second language. But that ain't the truth neither.
I value my words -- on paper and in conversation -- so much that it pains me to say something I know isn't correct. In Pamplona, I'm constantly switching back and forth between two languages. I use Spanish to survive, and I use English to teach, or get a fuckin' point across to my beau. This kind of linguistic adaptation results in both languages suffering. Man, even that sentence doesn't really make any sense does it?
Let me give you an example. One of my students is of elementary school age. We talk about things like the difference between mammals and reptiles, or the process of photosynthesis. After an hour of speaking in English, his mother usually approaches me with my payment and some small talk. This is where my head starts to spin.
I can follow her just fine. We're talking about the weather, then Easter break, and finally classes during the summer. I try to say something insightful and persuasive like: "Summer is a great time for English classes because we can take it easy. Without school and homework, an hour a week of English doesn't seem like a big deal. Our classes would be fun and relaxed!"
Instead this, roughly translated, is what comes out: "Summer is a good time for classes, because you can take advantage of the lack of homework. In the summer, classes don't...relaxed."
By the end of my rambling, the mom understands what I'm trying to say and probably finishes my sentence for me. Maybe she understands that after talking about chlorophyll and carbon dioxide for an hour, my Spanish might sound a little rusty. Or maybe she just thinks I'm a big ol' dummy.
So while my English deteriorates, my Spanish slowly improves. I'm certainly not struggling to understand, and I'm less hesitant in conversation. But I wanna sound eloquent and I end up sounding like...well...a goddamn foreigner.
I WANT SPEAK SPANISH GOOD.
In English, I was trying to ask if he was high -- you know if he was puffin' the herb -- and it came out different. Probably because in Spanish I would ask, "¿Tio, estás fumado?" which literally means smoked. I guess it sounds cool in English regardless, but the point is: I fucked up in my native language.
Don't be fooled. That ain't the first nor the last time that has happened. I say stupid stuff in my native language all the time now. I'd like to tell you that's because I'm excelling in my second language. But that ain't the truth neither.
I value my words -- on paper and in conversation -- so much that it pains me to say something I know isn't correct. In Pamplona, I'm constantly switching back and forth between two languages. I use Spanish to survive, and I use English to teach, or get a fuckin' point across to my beau. This kind of linguistic adaptation results in both languages suffering. Man, even that sentence doesn't really make any sense does it?
Let me give you an example. One of my students is of elementary school age. We talk about things like the difference between mammals and reptiles, or the process of photosynthesis. After an hour of speaking in English, his mother usually approaches me with my payment and some small talk. This is where my head starts to spin.
I can follow her just fine. We're talking about the weather, then Easter break, and finally classes during the summer. I try to say something insightful and persuasive like: "Summer is a great time for English classes because we can take it easy. Without school and homework, an hour a week of English doesn't seem like a big deal. Our classes would be fun and relaxed!"
Instead this, roughly translated, is what comes out: "Summer is a good time for classes, because you can take advantage of the lack of homework. In the summer, classes don't...relaxed."
By the end of my rambling, the mom understands what I'm trying to say and probably finishes my sentence for me. Maybe she understands that after talking about chlorophyll and carbon dioxide for an hour, my Spanish might sound a little rusty. Or maybe she just thinks I'm a big ol' dummy.
So while my English deteriorates, my Spanish slowly improves. I'm certainly not struggling to understand, and I'm less hesitant in conversation. But I wanna sound eloquent and I end up sounding like...well...a goddamn foreigner.
I WANT SPEAK SPANISH GOOD.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Selling myself short
We were barely two weeks into our new lives in Spain, but we already had appointments with prospective students and even more calling. Elliot answered the call from Liliana, but handed the phone to me as she expressed interest in classes for her two sons, ages 14 and 19. We had decided that I would teach the younger learners; and I felt more comfortable with kids. It was still difficult for me to talk on the phone, so I tried to keep the conversation short. With the air of an experienced babysitter, and perhaps a hint of arrogance, I was on my bike to their apartment the next morning.
Liliana buzzed me into the building and greeted me at the door with a baby on her hip.
"Hola, ¿como estás?" I said, trying to make small talk while I looked for a place to put down my helmet and my bag. It had been raining, so I apologized for dripping everywhere. She smiled at me revealing two silver front teeth.
"Somos de Perú," she said, adding that her sons had only been in Spain for four years. Each had some language training, but they hadn't really retained anything. And it turned out that the baby on her hip was her nephew; his father was also living in the apartment.
After meeting the boys briefly, and talking more with their mother about what kind of class they would prefer, we started discussing price. Elliot and I have a sliding scale rate of 10€ to 15€ per hour for our classes, depending on how much preparation we have to do outside of the class. These boys already had textbooks, so Liliana and I figured not much more would be needed. I settled, then, at 10€ per hour. She wanted two hours a week for each of them, so I left thinking I had done right by this family, and I had added 40€ to our weekly income.
My first class with the older teen was just a few days later. I found their place a little easier this time, so I arrived a few minutes early. It was one of the boys who buzzed me up this time, but the mother still greeted me at the door. A few words into our small talk and I realized she was saying something more than hello, how are you. There was a problem with the price.
Suddenly, I felt like she was speaking very quickly. She wanted me to lower the price, that much was clear. She had spoken to other people who said they've heard of teachers charging less. She wanted to pay 35€ instead of 40€.
I tried to explain that the rate I charged was for my time and experience, that Elliot and I were partners and we decided on a minimum rate of 10€ per hour. After all, we had read that most teachers charged a minimum of 15€ per hour. I felt like we were already giving her a deal. No one else had disputed price before. Why did I have to sell myself to her for five more euros?
I gave into her discounted price at first, because I was already there to teach a class, and I wanted to avoid any further confrontation. So I taught the class, all the while thinking anxiously about what had just happened. By the time two hours had passed, I had decided to talk about it later with Elliot. If he thought it was too little, I would call Liliana and explain that we couldn't accommodate her situation. At this point, I definitely preferred talking to her on the phone rather than to her face.
Once we finished, she came back into the living room with a 50€ bill. I was confused again.
"Lo siento, igual no te he entendido." I felt like an amateur. Dumb. Maybe even crazy. And she seemed a little frustrated. Why wasn't I getting this?
I thought she wanted to pay 35€ per week for two classes, each two hours long. But she thought I expected that price for each class, thus amounting to 70€ per week. Ah, what a great misunderstanding! I was so glad to tell her I didn't expect to earn nearly as much as she thought. I couldn't stop smiling, anticipating that this weird tension would evaporate. We both laughed, me nervously and her somewhat skeptically, but I left feeling better.
The weird tension didn't really go away, though. I realized over the next few weeks that these boys didn't know a whole lot. Each of them had important exams within the month, so we just had to hit the books to cover as much material as possible. And the books sucked. These kids relied heavily on dictionaries and internet translations, which made conversation nearly impossible. Let's just say it's a good thing I spoke Spanish; otherwise the classes may have crashed and burned.
Plus I was feeling a lot of pressure from their mother. Every week she would ask me how they were doing, if they were advancing. I was hesitant to say yes, because they weren't. But how could I say no -- we had only been working together for a few weeks.
When the exams were approaching, I started to wonder what our classes could be like afterward. I could design my own lesson plans, teach at a more appropriate pace, and maybe even get these boys to enjoy the classes! There was a catch, however. In order for me to do this comfortably, I would have to ask for a little more money. But I felt like money was what had made this relationship weird in the first place.
Biking to their apartment one day, I rehearsed the conversation in my head. At the end of that class, I asked to speak with her. I kept my speech tempo up, to get in as much as possible before she could interrupt. I tried to remain open by making these more formal classes seem like just another option. But at the same time, I emphasized that the books alone don't do a great job of explaining and elaborating certain topics.
She seemed interested, but she still continued to ask why I would want five euros more per class. Sure, I wanted to say, it's only five euros more. But maybe she was thinking that's 20 more per month. So I stood there, and sold myself again. Well, I explained, I have to prepare these extra materials outside of class, and this takes time. She understood, and conceded.
But it just seemed so reluctant. Of course I expected her teenage sons to be a little resistant, but not her. I didn't want her to think that I was teaching classes purely for monetary gain, and at the same time I could not trivialize my own work ethic.
I'm proud of myself, because I've never asked for a raise before. I didn't think I would feel so conflicted afterward, though.
Liliana buzzed me into the building and greeted me at the door with a baby on her hip.
"Hola, ¿como estás?" I said, trying to make small talk while I looked for a place to put down my helmet and my bag. It had been raining, so I apologized for dripping everywhere. She smiled at me revealing two silver front teeth.
"Somos de Perú," she said, adding that her sons had only been in Spain for four years. Each had some language training, but they hadn't really retained anything. And it turned out that the baby on her hip was her nephew; his father was also living in the apartment.
After meeting the boys briefly, and talking more with their mother about what kind of class they would prefer, we started discussing price. Elliot and I have a sliding scale rate of 10€ to 15€ per hour for our classes, depending on how much preparation we have to do outside of the class. These boys already had textbooks, so Liliana and I figured not much more would be needed. I settled, then, at 10€ per hour. She wanted two hours a week for each of them, so I left thinking I had done right by this family, and I had added 40€ to our weekly income.
My first class with the older teen was just a few days later. I found their place a little easier this time, so I arrived a few minutes early. It was one of the boys who buzzed me up this time, but the mother still greeted me at the door. A few words into our small talk and I realized she was saying something more than hello, how are you. There was a problem with the price.
Suddenly, I felt like she was speaking very quickly. She wanted me to lower the price, that much was clear. She had spoken to other people who said they've heard of teachers charging less. She wanted to pay 35€ instead of 40€.
I tried to explain that the rate I charged was for my time and experience, that Elliot and I were partners and we decided on a minimum rate of 10€ per hour. After all, we had read that most teachers charged a minimum of 15€ per hour. I felt like we were already giving her a deal. No one else had disputed price before. Why did I have to sell myself to her for five more euros?
I gave into her discounted price at first, because I was already there to teach a class, and I wanted to avoid any further confrontation. So I taught the class, all the while thinking anxiously about what had just happened. By the time two hours had passed, I had decided to talk about it later with Elliot. If he thought it was too little, I would call Liliana and explain that we couldn't accommodate her situation. At this point, I definitely preferred talking to her on the phone rather than to her face.
Once we finished, she came back into the living room with a 50€ bill. I was confused again.
"Lo siento, igual no te he entendido." I felt like an amateur. Dumb. Maybe even crazy. And she seemed a little frustrated. Why wasn't I getting this?
I thought she wanted to pay 35€ per week for two classes, each two hours long. But she thought I expected that price for each class, thus amounting to 70€ per week. Ah, what a great misunderstanding! I was so glad to tell her I didn't expect to earn nearly as much as she thought. I couldn't stop smiling, anticipating that this weird tension would evaporate. We both laughed, me nervously and her somewhat skeptically, but I left feeling better.
The weird tension didn't really go away, though. I realized over the next few weeks that these boys didn't know a whole lot. Each of them had important exams within the month, so we just had to hit the books to cover as much material as possible. And the books sucked. These kids relied heavily on dictionaries and internet translations, which made conversation nearly impossible. Let's just say it's a good thing I spoke Spanish; otherwise the classes may have crashed and burned.
Plus I was feeling a lot of pressure from their mother. Every week she would ask me how they were doing, if they were advancing. I was hesitant to say yes, because they weren't. But how could I say no -- we had only been working together for a few weeks.
When the exams were approaching, I started to wonder what our classes could be like afterward. I could design my own lesson plans, teach at a more appropriate pace, and maybe even get these boys to enjoy the classes! There was a catch, however. In order for me to do this comfortably, I would have to ask for a little more money. But I felt like money was what had made this relationship weird in the first place.
Biking to their apartment one day, I rehearsed the conversation in my head. At the end of that class, I asked to speak with her. I kept my speech tempo up, to get in as much as possible before she could interrupt. I tried to remain open by making these more formal classes seem like just another option. But at the same time, I emphasized that the books alone don't do a great job of explaining and elaborating certain topics.
She seemed interested, but she still continued to ask why I would want five euros more per class. Sure, I wanted to say, it's only five euros more. But maybe she was thinking that's 20 more per month. So I stood there, and sold myself again. Well, I explained, I have to prepare these extra materials outside of class, and this takes time. She understood, and conceded.
But it just seemed so reluctant. Of course I expected her teenage sons to be a little resistant, but not her. I didn't want her to think that I was teaching classes purely for monetary gain, and at the same time I could not trivialize my own work ethic.
I'm proud of myself, because I've never asked for a raise before. I didn't think I would feel so conflicted afterward, though.
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